Swine flu. Run for my life!
trying to fathom saturday night and the fact that Rainn Wilson now hates me. my brain hurts.
why does hillary duff have a greatest hits album?
The coffee and champagne are fighting over who gets to absorb the one pancake in my stomach
its taking every last moral i have not to steal this bike
you still have morals?
Well actually itd just be too hard to ride the bike with this large rake i just stole
smelt my brothers hands when he got home to see if he lied about smoking again...he didn't lie but i definitely didn't expect to smell some other girls vagina.
Remind me tomorrow to take that ball-gag out of my purse.
That bitch ruined vodka saturday
I'm kinda amazed by how many times I've texted the word penis today.
Just so you know, my new pet parrot tried to bond sexually with me today. That is what Google told me. I'm not sure of its gender.
Sitting here reading the internet and all i have to show for this summer is a shitty tan and the possible case of clamidia.
Oh you know..Chillin with your dad.
With a fannypack full of drugs.
There should be a Doritos delivery van or something.
I'm so bored I talked to the Bible guys for 30 minutes.
I offered them beer last time they came here bahaha
I miss my bedroom and my bed and being able to spray myself with my choice of 15 different perfumes so I don't have to wake up to the smell of my past sins
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