shes hot in the i'd deny it if anyone asked kinda way
I reminded them that I didn't puke and I cleaned yours up! So huh!
Her mom drove me home after I blew a .13 So there I am wishing her mom a happy mother's day sitting in the passenger seat where I just banged her daughter 15 min prior
So guess who had sex in a Ghostbusters sleeping bag.
Just did free shots of tequila at a walmart. Hello Mexico
worst part about day drinking... waking up to george lopez
I don't even know where to begin....there's queso sauce and public hair stuck to everything
Well, I had a dudes gf walk in on us the next morning but nothing during...She shook my hand after I got dressed and said "nice to meet you with your clothes on" best moment of my life.
I can't promise that. They just put an extra shot in my margarita.
Is there a polite way to say "Sorry for your head injury but I still want to hook up"?
I want to get "Patrick Kane" wasted tonight
I am one hundred percent down for that
he woke me up with all the stuff I had at his house in boxes i had to unwrap my own belongings and he said. Happy v-day its time to see ya day! Worst day ever
Realizing life ain't all about burritos and strippers, it's a struggle out there, and it ain't looking pretty so far,..
Its amazing how creative youll get when your house has been out of toilet paper for a week and a half
He's asking how tall I am he wants to make a body suit out of me
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