my roommate and her friend got reaallllly high last night and it looks like they played scrabble. one of their words is "nippal"
You told her the u were going to wrap your dick around her neck and start her like a lawn mower. thats why she left.
the mandatory saturday morning class for those written up by RA's turned into a gold mine...just met EVERY hot chick that parties.
Operation Purity has been aborted
Well that wasnt the exboyfriend i expected to hook up with today
He asked me if I could call his penis destroyer... Uhh SOS.
She got turned on by my fanny pack full of condoms. I can't believe you said it was a bad idea to wear it to the party.
Just traded the drive-through guy at BK a Dos Equis for a Hershey pie before noon... win?
You're 31, how do you still outdrink all these college kids?
Practice, Irish genes, and a lack of desire to live past 40. But mostly practice.
it was cool until he whispered 'sounds like you need a good dicking' with a completely serious face and i just lost it
wasn't that the evening we made out with the girls from the dental school, drank 3000 beers, almost had to beat up a guy at the strip club and James nailed some hot piece of tail and took her OSU windbreaker, which my dad went on to wear multiple times after finding it in the garage.
Yes. To all of that. Yes.
I can appreciate that you picked up the hot drummer, but don’t have sex in front of my house lmao
So this morning when I woke up. I found my refrigerator open and no more food. It was empty, I'm home alone for the week. Where in hell did that food go?
I wiped my ass with a McDonalds wrapper. I've hit an all time low. Sorry for my impatience
Well hell, he's gotta sleep in the bed he's made. Multiple times. For multiple girls I'm sure.
Randomize
