we left the bar for like 10 minutes last night and moved his car so it wouldnt get towed. neither of us have a clue where it is right now.
I am about to be in my happy place. (the shower with a 6 pack)
his tattoo said carpe diem which i thought was ironic considering his epilepsy
i just sat down and hooked up with this girl. after she left i called over another girl and did the same. this happened about four more times and i never left my chair
I JUST REALIZED HOW SOFT YOUR TABLE IS! and I also just started rolling
No. And Marissa said shitting in the handicap bathroom at work does not get you into the club. You have to shit yourself. She said.
yeah, i'm not. but i'm ready for free bjs. it's just hard to find women who will give me a beej while i'm sobbing uncontrollably
the potatoes in the margarita machine wasn't the breaking point. its when he turned on the stove and put a bunch of bottle rockets on it that i knew the night had prematurely failed
just had Stella and stale goldfish for breakfast under the watchful eyes of an inflatable cactus and 5 llama pinatas. Cinco de mayo success!
That's actually a fantastic idea... The kinky sex dungeon will be vastly improved by the addition of a lightsaber
You may now shotgun with the bride
It sucks laughing and vomiting at the same time, trust me. I kind of remember
It's def pee. WHY DO I PEE ON THINGS WHEN I DRINK TEQUILA
I had to dig my own trench to puke in at the resort. That much fun.
Well supposedly when the cops came, they say I tried to get them in a conga line like Jim Carrey in The Mask. So....yea
Randomize
