I will come over but only if I don't have to take my sunglasses off for it
she smelled like a LAN party
Smoking bowl and applying to community college. I now know how I got here.
We're going clubbing with matching soccer jerseys on.
What will that accomplish?
It will accomplish clubbing with matching soccer jerseys on.
It took us hanging out like four times to kiss. Id like to fuck you before I'm 30
Just had a pleasant conversation with a mugger while he was taking off my shoes. Why can't I get along with people like this sober?
To this day, he introduces me as "the girl I met climbing trees at 3 A.M."
you described his penis as a "portable fishing pole"
I'm being an old woman and getting trashed in a night gown in public...of course it's going to be fun
did you know that my friend knows a guy with 3 balls what the actual fuck
Pretty sure I recall hugging our waiter from the bar last night. That also means we are NEVER going there again
i think the title to my autobiography shall be, "a bottle of vodka and various pieces of meat"
and this is why you're my favorite gay friend.
I just told the toilet I loved it. Bad sign.
This guy dressed as a piece of paper for Halloween, I felt it was only necessary to sign his penis
u would mumble something and then get unnecessarily loud and say random shit like 'id fuck the shit out of taylor hanson right now'
Randomize
