Do you think Patty Mayonase ever went down on Doug?
You missed out on a serious adventure. Cops were called. We put a chicken in someones house.
Yeah we can't find him. He left a note saying he left and isn't that drunk with what appears to be an attempt at the quadratic formula for proof. He also wrote down his number and left his phone by the note
I sleep with the gay men, they no longer have questions about their sexuality. No strings attached at it's finest and i get new shopping buddies out if it. It really is a win win situation.
You are my idol.
It took all the strength I had tto sit at my desk and not tear off my business attire and run screaming from adulthood and flourescent lights.
I seriously don't understand how you keep getting laid.
Because I'm like the spider of false hope. I spin elaborate tales and snare them in my web of utter disappointment. They soon realize their mistake, but by then it's too late.
Can you bring home bongs? Like all the bongs. I need bongs
Great news! In less than 2 hours, I'm ripping your underwear off with my teeth!
When are your genitals available?
How do you politely tell someone to get out of your house in Russian
Here's a tip: do NOT chant "MATTHEWS. MATTHEWS. MATTHEWS." during sex because the Packers won against the Giants.
So Blakes coming home... so if youre like fingerbanging the shit out of yourself on the kitchen table...wrap it up
I just found out how I got home last night. The bartenders found me sitting in the brush peeing and called me a cab. Have you seen my underwear?
Btw I thought it was impossible to use up 48 bottles of patron in one night but I was wrong...
Fuck your bullshit loser kid and his gluten allergy.
Randomize
