We may have a problem that even dr. phil cant solve
So Ive decided I have serious issues. Im walking around the school with a bag labeled booze money collecting from people while slightly hungover at 8:20 in the morning, and nobody is questioning me.
One of my students just told me turtles are lazy and need to get a job. Fuck yes, my job here is done.
Our local strip club now has karaoke. Do you realize what this could mean for my sex life?
On my list on ridiculous morning after bus rides home, still sopping wet and carrying a giant straw hat is definitely top five
Theres dried jager, barbecue sauce and frie remnants all over my front seat.
I spiked my fruit smoothie. Taking bikini season diet to a whole new level
Is it wrong that I want to take the baby bump in her facebook pictures as "meal-ticket"?
Well on the plus side I have started adding benefiber to my bottle of wine
Winning pick four numbers were just 6969... if I were 18 I could've won 20,000 dollars.
So lets not base feelings on vagina tingles
Why is there a slipper full of piss in my bedroom?
My knees are skinned from sitting on someone's face on concrete
You realized your blanket was a snuggie, spread your arms, and yelled "tonight I sleep like jesus!"
Cheyanne in woods. Ducks attacked. My toe is bleeding. We are gpsing our way home on foot. No worries
Randomize
