where are you?
in the room with the baby pig
k im coming soon
somehow, due in part to drug cocktail and alchl prior to meeting, i blacked out, got home, made total mess of kitchen, broke shower, and made 17 hard boiled eggs
i didnt like the question options for my yahoo account..so i made up the question and it was "favorite bathroom to shit in"
I was watching truelife I'm transgendered. This tranny already got a date a week after getting a vagina. I've had a vagina my entire life and can't get a date.
Just puked on the beach. Hungover. In front of my parents. I love summer.
He came in asked for the bathroom and came out 10 minutes later dripping wet took his redbull and left.
If I don't wake up hungover in a ditch Monday morning I will consider my halloween a failure
We left the window open. My vibrators funeral is at 2ish.....bring a side dish or some shit.
Lets have the type of night where its 5am and one of us has definitely punched someone who has been on a Disney Channel show.
you were feeling the wall and when we asked you why, you just said "because I want to know who lived here before"
Hey don't blame me, picking what flavor of condom to put on my dick is a very difficult selection process
I had the hottest doctor assess me at the hospital. He smelled like heaven and sex.
Hey the moment you step into my house, find me IMMEDIATELY so we can pinky promise on not roping anyone at the party into yet another threesome
"Here let me wipe my uterus off your dick" was probably the most unsexy thing said after period sex. I should get an award
No, I told him I was busy again this weekend. Eventually he’ll learn. Plus, absence makes the cock grow harder
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