So I accidentally txted this girl with the same name as the one im seeing, as it turns out shes still dtf
: am i supposed to send the mass text 'merry christmas!' to my booty calls too?
I hate about 85% of people that I meet. I'm an awful person. In reality my only redeeming qualities are my face, my amazing scissoring skills and the fact that children love me.
True on all accounts.
I'm sorry that I ate boneless ribs off of your sister, but that is no reason to drink my alcohol.
Sometimes I think I have so much sex with you to be sure you're actually straight.
hot buttered vodka was not a success. on any level.
some people spend their whole lives trying to find their soulmate. who knew mine was hiding in utah successfully balancing a pageant career and a coke habit.
He brought wine and beer. I'll put my pants on for wine and beer.
I think I'm too tall to 69 successfully.
I think I might cry.
I am gifting my birthday sex to you, but its okay because I can always just have birthday vibrator.
I remeber being on the roof last night and we put our heads togeather and we touched each others face and said "Hennessyyyy"
Where does dick fit into Maslow's hierarchy of needs?
I feel like I might be the only person I know who eats bundles of radishes in-between orgasms from their vibrator.
Come over so I can fuck you louder than her country music
He tried to kiss me in the middle of hooking up... it was a deal breaker. I got off him and left.
So making out with chicks at the bar is fine and dandy, but your booty call can't kiss you? You have the strangest fucking rules...
Randomize
