Even My mom was ashamed of me bringing her home, she pulled me aside, and told me i can do better than, "butter faces"
omg. don't know how to spell his name, but hot new zealand guy's dick is magic
All I remember is saying that "fire will make it all better"
I don't know, but I don't want you to think its ok to show up at my house at 4 am with a gorilla suit and a bucket of pinnapple and think id be ok with it
Is this a genuine concern or are you just high?
JUST BECAUSE I'M HIGH DOESN'T MEAN ITS NOT GENUINE CONCERN.
apparently the last bar didn't like my halloween costume with syringes filled with whiskey
Just realized how sopa could affect my ability to watch porn, son of a bitch
I guess I made wings because there's chicken everywhere. Even on the walls. 3 of them. It's like a chicken grave yard.
I think my Halloween costume this year will be made entirely of pillows and I'll be Marshmellow girl or Kirby. That way I'm comfortable, warm, and if I fall over drunk I'm safe.
nobody was home so I boiled the dildo
Monday funday. I brushed my teeth with antibacterial soap. hangover I did not have.
That was the first time I ever heard of a female getting road head while driving... thanks for the memory and making me happy ending..
Why would you get kicked out?
Well, an overweight man is currently not wearing a shirt. Or pants. And is getting in touch with his inner Chippendale. You can probably fill in the blanks.
Dude, you screamed I AM THE WALRUS while giving a statue of Ronald McCdonald a lapdance. You were NOT sober.
HER BOYFRIEND CAME HOME WHILE WE WERE GETTING IT ON IN THE SHOWER
At least you smelled nice while he kicked your ass.
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