I have funfetti in my underwear...will you come get me?
I just had a 2 1/2 hr conversation about the pros and cons of taping your ballsack to your taint, which then led into the unveilling of lady gaga being a hermaphrodite.
She looks like an uncircumcised penis in a hat.
I just found out that the liquid capacity of my breasts is 700ml each. I should not be left alone at home when drunk.
Its ok. I handled the situation with grace and class. lol jk i got shitfaced and fucked his roomate.
Aww. I feel like I need to kill a puppy just to make room in the world for how cute you are right now
my mom just left...time to break out that water bottle of wine that I sewed into my teddy bear
Triple a is towing cars for free tonight and tomorrow night. Can we take advantage of this ?
I'm mumbling to people and trying not to accidentally shit my pants
Just got caught staring at a woman breast feeding. My only response was, "She's so adorable".
To sum up. The glass blower from the ren faire ate me out last night. Best ever. Go find yourself an artisan.
So we played the stone cold theme song and continued to chug 2 beers at once and everyone just looked in shock
He's an acquired taste, like S&M or those crunchy things they put in salads
Croutons?
I seriously just had to blow dry my thong.
His butt is perfect. Like a twelve on a scale of one to ten. No idea about his personality or anything but that ass... I'm keeping him.
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