It took me 40.8 seconds to take a dump at her house, I know because I timed myself.
he peed everywhere. it's like having a puppy.
those are the first brownies ive had since i was 13 that didnt have weed in them.
I was in holding with a guy that got a DUI on a hover round. He was so nice. We're hanging out tonight.
Making pb&j crepes. Using corn tortillas. So high. I don't know if I'm offending French people or Mexican people more.
Why do I have peacock feathers super glued to my body?
Thank god i puked near the cancer center. makes me look like a chemo patient
Pre-drinking/conditioning my liver for this impending hurricane party associated with cat. 2 hurricane Irene. Be ready to roll in a weather channel minute.
Omg it was awesome. At one point she says "cum in me, I'm too old to get pregnant".
So, we estimated there is at least 40 pounds of boob in our house.
blew off easter dinner with the fam to go play shot roulette. woke up in nothing but my boxers in the back of a random pickup truck.
When one of my seniors asked "Rough night?" I realized my poor decisions involving Tuesday night drinking did not go unnoticed.
She had like a side ponytail and hoop earrings though. And legwarmers. Like a horrible 80s nightmare. Don't drink and dream, dude.
Does sweetest day count when you're spending it with your fuck buddy, high and eating Pizza Hut?
Do you remember coming over and asking for toast and then singing that yeah toast song very loudly while you were dropping my bread all over my kitchen?
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