So my shaver died while I was trimming...ya know. And now it is half way done. I don't think there's currently any aesthetic in keeping it this way...
Maybe we should try and tone it down a notch. The neighbors changed the name of their wifi network to "i can hear you having sex".
Your therapist is not going to think that you using your vagina as revenge is okay
Between my vibrator and my iPhone carpal tunnel is inevitable.
No I can't cure herpes. I'm an EMT, not Jesus.
He wasn't eating out, he was performing a hysterectomy without a license....should I be worried about my future family?
he told me i smelled like babies and pine needles and he wanted to bathe with me. new boyfriend is not a keeper
We don't really communicate like that.
Communicate like what?
Communicate like people who want to see each other when their genitals are inside their pants.
Everyone was in jail by 10:30. I'd say it was a successful bachelor party.
I look like a bag of dicks so if you could ugly yourself up that'd be great.
Dude, why did I wake up with ketchup packets in my bed and the stove in my room??
Did body shots with a guy... Ended up being the ref of my volleyball game... So that's why we won
Don't go to sleep yet I need your Mexican roots. Can you come make guacamole
I would like to reiterate that I went to give lessons and ended up having a three way instead
Hey, what's the French word for when you meet your boyfriend's friend and you have that gut feeling that you smoked pot naked in a hot tub with him at a house party years ago?
Randomize
