Is it 'vaginas' or 'vaginae?'. Either way there were a shit ton of them.
sometimes i shoot so far i amaze even myself.
after a month anything with tits is on the radar
we just made rock paper scissors into a drinking game
We were laughing at the passed out guy who had gone to sleep under the car in the McDonald's lot until we realized it was you.
He gave me his business card. It was a Justin Bieber trading card with his number written in sharpie. I have to call him don't I?
Whatever. I'm just trying to get my dick sucked while taking online harmonica lessons
Bro what are you doing Thursday the day before I go to jail??
He came over hammered at four in the morning with roses trying to get me back when my new fling opened the door he just stood there crying for 40mins even after we closed the door
I only see on penis in this picture but I assume there is another lurking out of sight.
Right now Tom has the 2nd floor office bathroom under siege. He shit/clogged one toilet, and he's throwing up in the sink.
JUST BECAUSE I LIKE TO BE TIED UP AND SPANKED DOESNT MEAN IM GOING TO LIKE TO BE TIED UP AND SPANKED AT WORK
My Tinder date from last night is my Uber driver for tonight's Tinder date...neither of us said a word.
Fuck. I did it again. I plugged in my toaster and walked away thinking it needed to preheat. I am dumb.
Best and worst whiskey dick ever. I am hungover and can't move from the hours of sex, he on the other hand has a raw bruised dick. I win.
Randomize
