I think I'm going to go home and read The Bible.
Ok just saw a girl open a pillbox, dump it out on her notebook and count out 13 adderall tabs and put them in a baggie and leave. Oh hey college.
Ever since they found the bud they've been sending me visa gift cards instead of cash. Bastards.
hot ketchup is not a substitute for marinara
So Easter dinner for me was at 4:40 this morning where i made Bagel Bites and had a glass of Chardonnay
I understand. Hypothetically what should one do after throwing up in the shower?
Nada. Shooting off confetti and wanted to see I'd u could see it from ur house.
Wow. Its not even 11am.
I take that as "no I'm not driving you to the bar in a blizzard"
Haha I will however wear glass and and draw a lightning bolt scar if you want to have sex that way, and that can be the only time you can call me Harry.
I'm wearing your poncho, and only your poncho. I'm not getting pulled over like this.
DID YOU DO SOMETHING WITH THE DEAD ROACH IN THE KITCHEN? OR DID IT LAZARUS?
WHY WERE YOU COOKING NAKED?
WHY WERE YOU SLEEPING ON MY COUCH?
He told me he needed "space" but then goes and likes my insta of panacakes.. Done.
Hypothetically speaking, at what point does fire become too much fire?
I thought it was your cat but I was wrong your Roomba is possessed by a pissed-off evil spirit.
Randomize
