Tried killing a moth in our bathroom. Water everywhere. Don't worry about it.
Ask me how many people I've slept with. Because its changed since I last saw you.
I saw you 20 MINUTES AGO. You need to stop this.
The old woman next to me on the el smells like cupcakes...but she doesn't taste like cupcakes
I don't know how God could bestow someone that emotionally confused with such an awesome penis.
Good cause the way I see it, we are down to DAYS left of college so we should have as much naked fun as possible. And Jenga really facilitates that.
just gave another girl i passed on the walk of shame a high five
Did you mean to cry when you finished last night? Or were you just that drunk?
Ive seen him cuddling a giant inflatable seahorse. Nothing could be creepier than that.
Tonight, a friend walked in and said "oh look at that. Drunk on the living room floor. Just as expected." this is my life. This is my life.
No. I just want to cuddle and talk about our feeling. Of course this a booty call.
Why the fuck is he under my phone as Papi Chulo?
I like the new guy, he keeps beer in the fridge.
We kicked down a door together last night, pretty sure that qualifies us as best friends.
Last time we had sex i was dressed like a ninja turtle and someone else was in our bed, so this time should be fine.
I hope ur kiddin
wish i was
only i would get cock blocked by a cop
Randomize
