he keeps dipping things in ranch and feeding them to me
So I just passed a billboard for "Risque Cafe: Good food and topless women". Fuck. I love SC.
I have a pussy blister if you wanna poke at it with a needle tomorrow...by this text i realize just how strange our relationship is, especially because you're probably excited
I think you mean your blister is filled with pus...atleast i hope
the EMT asked how you broke your nose and you said, "you know, the usual wear and tear."
pretty sure i had my hand down BOTH their pants at the same time at some point...
so the plumber came, he found condoms, feathers and glitter in the pipes.
Okay, who took a picture of their pubes shaved into a dragon on my phone and made it the background?!
I'm pretty sure when you walk down Broadway and can pick out people you've slept with.. It might be a problem. I'm leaving for rehab tomorrow.
i sucked his cock and got snuggles in return. I'm the mother Theresa of giving in a relationship.
So is it safe to say that my only objective from last night is to finish this entire jar of peanut butter?
I almost don't wanna have sex with her because I'm afraid she'll steal my hat
I was sitting here smiling wondering why i'm so fucking happy at work. cookie has kicked in
I made out with my moms boyfriends son last night. Thanksgiving is gonna be reeeal fun!
ONE DAY CAN WE PLEASE HAVE SECRET SEX. PREFERABLY IN AN ANCIENT PYRAMID BUT I'M NOT OPPOSED TO A 4 STAR HOTEL
I could be doing way worse things besides texting him 'come over and bang my headache away'. i could be on meth
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