Haha dude youd die if you were here. Girl presenting is defending the new testament and did her report on JESUS. best believe i'm gonna ask some hungover, atheist ass questions
anal on a first date. tsk tsk.
eating mexican with the mother in law. this meal made her decide to tell us about her colon cleansing diet
i keep walking around campus wondering if anyone is as stoned as i am
is it wrong that I want a "Where The Wild Things Are" tshirt that points to my junk?
Just saw a denim jacket with the phrase christian cowboy...ridin with the lord under a picture of a cowboy in a sunset. I'm def in mississippi.
Being college poor has reached a new low. I am giving up on masturbating so i can save money on toilet paper
Ok, so for future reference, in Rome, "piano bar" means "brothel".
Hey bro, did you ever hear from the background investigator that i was supposed to bang?
I thought 4 percs were too many but I'm dumping Gogurt on apple pie and taking giant bong rips. This feels right.
Is it rude to ask for an autograph after giving him a blowjob in their hotel's hot tub?
No it'll be my boobs and the luge part will be from my nipples. Everyone will be sucking beer from my perfectly sculpted and partially melted tits.
I just woke up naked next to a GetGo sandwich and I can hear my cats are eating my combos. So that's my life.
I had sex in a panda mask the other night.
Crust to egg proportion prescribes to a pedantic form of quiche. It's like saying breakfast pizza isn't pizza at all.
Randomize
