i just met a girl who was sent to the hospital for using her phone as a vibrator and got electrocuted. 4 weeks later she got sent back for shoving a hot dog up there. welcome to the teenage american society
WHAT IS WRONG WITH SOCIETY?!?!?!
... says the kid who took a shit in my parents dishwasher...
I just woke up to find the whole kitchen sick had been converted into a gravity bong.
So fucked up. Can't tell if I'm starving or about to puke. Playing it safe and eating froot loops. Tasty in, colorful out.
What can I say, your life is charmed. I'm on the couch trying to decide whether or not to puke again.
I feel more comfortable going down on her then actually kissing her.
New development. Drinking at work is so easy and awesome I might have to do it everyday.
you better take a shot tonight for every cat you have ever seen and wanted. this is a lot of cats.
Theres a 75% chance I'm wearing a hocky mask and nothing else right now
Ps I am
So I pull up to an apartment complex and immediately felt like I was here to get stoned.
Well you were already wet from trying to drink straight from the faucet, so I just put you in the bathtub with a pillow and called it a night
Talked a police officer into driving us the 1/2 mile home from the bars because we didn't want to walk. I never knew the back of cop Cars had plastic seats.
I JUST NEEDED TO TELL YOU I JUST FUCKED TWO BOYS IN THE SPAN OF LIKE THREE HOURS AND ONE OF THEM WAS MY SISTERS PROM DATE FROM HIGH SCHOOL IM LOWKEY BOTH PROUD AND ASHAMED
Pretty sure I just pissed straight whiskey...
I just googled "how to blow an uncircumcised guy" and did serious research. That's how badly I want to fuck him.
You misuse your internet privileges.
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