would you ever date a girl who drove an 89 Chrysler LeBaron? - for the record it's a convertable
Had to use Google translator to be able to tell the cleaning lady not to throw away the condoms we have strategically placed throughout the house.
He keeps the condoms in his bible. I guess stairs or elevator, we're getting to hell one way or another.
If he thought that flying across an ocean to visit me in London constituted sex, he thought wrong.
Please don't drown this weekend. It would be a shame to lose a dick like yours.
I thought your voice was coming from the walls. I've never been so relieved to find you naked in a closet
He also gave me two gold stars for sex. On my nipples.
whatever the appropriate amount of shots is to consider drunken acrobatics a good idea was a few less than I actually had
I just wanna say I did some math and I lasted 1,052,000 more minutes than you at the bar before I got kicked out. That's 729 days. Bitch
Question. Was fucking Laura an entirely regrettable decision?
like...quickly.
I wanna just rip ass and see his reaction but i bet itd be better to shatter that illusion when hes drunk
There's a whistle here and I just want to play my whistle song on it.
I think you just have to raise your bang age from 40 to 50, hope dust doesn't fly out and make her say tony danza
Now I don't feel like I'm sweating cheeseburger all the time.
Why am I sleeping on top of the fridge?
You were playing hide and seek with the dog. she couldn't find you and you passed out.
Randomize
