Sometimes I wish there were a little bird hiding that would periodically go, "creep-per."
I don't give a shit about soccer but I'm really excited about drinking at 7 in the morning
You disinfected one of his friends, buttered the jeans of the other one. And you poured every liquid you could reach on the floor, including cooking oil and green tea. It wasnt a great first impression
it took me 20 minutes to get her upstairs... she crawled under a car and wouldn't come out.
Its all fun and games until someone grabs the electrical fence.
woke up wearing a canadian flag with the starting forward of the hockey team. i feel oddly patriotic
Pack light, we're going straight to bar from the train. No place to put our shit.
Dude all I'm bringing is my dick and a phone charger.
An image of us stuck like that like Pompeii comes to mind. A wonder for future anthropologists
Safe to say I'm terrified but totally AMPED
He posted a picture from Senor Frogs. I don't remember where that bikini came from and my sombrero is PERPENDICULAR. Safe to say it was one hell of a day
Oh no. Did you guys fuck on my pull out couch?
My butt remains clenched, sir.
THERES A BEAVER CHASING ME, ANGRY BEAVERS IS FUCKING REAL DUDE
was that the third sophomore you've banged this week?
third one in three days
I'm setting goals and achieving them. I'd say I'm quite mature for my age.
You're goal was to fuck him and you don't even remember it.
Randomize
