Seriously, I'd take them all over any of the milfs here...and you know how much that means coming from me
Hey you
You're the only one I'll text back during sex. what's up?
So, Southern Comfort will donate 25 cents for every bottle sold towards Gulf Coast Relief... Can we save the wetlands through my alcoholism?
as my niece was drinking milk out of a crown royal glass i realized i dont think i've ever bought a glass that didnt come with a bottle of liquor....
You couldve had sex with 2 drunk chicks on an alligator slide.
Breaking hearts and overdosing on semen. That's my life.
Do you think she's aware of my deep hatred or should I set her hair on fire in her sleep?
SANTA'S REAL. I GOT MY PERIOD.
He told me that I smelled like a Glade Plug-in, then sang the Menard's jingle in it's entirety in between kissing me.
apparently I crawled into someone's bed and demanded they call me 'big dog' before shotgunning a beer
I would feel bad that's he's locked out naked, but the world should really see that.
i just smoked marajunia from a shotgun barrell. what have you done today?
It turned from Netflix and chill to cringeworthy YouTube videos and chill. At least he's honest.
Fuck it, if you can't drink cheep beer and whiskey with me, I don't want you.
Yo did you say we are blacking out saturday night and playing dodgeball?
Yeah for relay for life. Its for cancer
Randomize
