every time I hook up with him I think about the fact that penicillin was a mistake too... and look how well that turned out. It makes me feel just a little bit better.
Cure to hiccups..road head..high five
can you put a coffee maker in the dish washer? yo know what, nvm i want to be surprised
judging by the mobile uploads you added of me last night, we cant keep living this way.
No I'm not coming over. That Bob Ross drinking game is too intense.
we smoked out of your homemade aunt jamima bong
My cock is literally on the edge of falling off. Fuck Vegas.
that bitch in the red sedan is still teasing me with the ice cream cone. i'm going to show her my dick
Hundreds of bug bites..Dad jokingly says "looks like you passed out naked in the woods somewhere"
why the fuck are my pubes caked with bread crumbs?
She's riding a bike down the street and drinking brown liquor. A pt cruiser is honking at her and she's like I HEAR YOU!!
my mom called me mid shot and i accidentally answered and kept calling her my own name. somehow i thought that would help the situation.
Got really high to see my fist college experience unfold. Too high to find my classroom but I found the McDonald's down the street
where the fuck are you? she just tazed two people and we're tripping shrooms...successful first night in new apartment!
That awkward moment when you were so fucking drunk lastnight that you and your fuck buddy wake up wearing eachother's clothing covered in hot cheetos with his cat curled up between your heads meowing. Thought you'd appreciate this moment with me.
Randomize
