How do you know one of your one night stands hasn't produced a child? You may have hundreds of kids.
Pretty sure I don't. One night stands are purely anal..no exceptions.
Prostitute standing on the corner thrusting at cars as they drive by. New marketing strategy?
I feel like Captain Blackout doesn't do her justice. Brigadier General Blackout is much better.
lets make a pact to never make a pregnancy pact
i just realized i put more money and effort into 420 then i did for christmas
I can't believe you just thanked me for a blowjob on my Facebook wall...
I cant yet im literally covered in lube but I will later
U took a sewing needle to his nipple
Psshh,
Remember that time you came over to my house and I was on the porch naked and eating peanut butter?
Eh maybe I should give her a chance. Let's see where making a porno takes the friendship
When a best friend shows up on a tricycle with a case a beer and goes "get on loser" you get on, because there is a magical adventure afoot
All I want to do is shower, but there is a keg in there.
sometimes you just gotta eat tacobell at 2am and cry all your feelings out
Welp, I just herniated a vocal cord during sex. How was your night?
Its official. The summoning powers of my vagina are unmatched by anything in this world
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