Guys are so much hotter at OU. Come my mating season, I am flying south like the geese in the wintertime.
Haha Tomato, Tomato. That doesn't work very well via text message.
I just met the 30 percent of the population with an STD
can you pick up eggs and chocolate sauce on your way home?
what kind of party is this?
the best kind ever
i was drinking at the bar last night with a guy with no bottom teeth, wearing zubas and a polka dotted hat. if that isn't the definition of wisconsin, i dont know what is
The number of times I've puked in the Walgreens bathroom is becoming way too many for my pride.
I just saw a black chick with an eyepatch. This is a once in a lifetime opportunity.
"Functional." Your standards for how you feel after drinking are so high.
When your night starts by chugging margarita and drinking vodka out of tupperware, I feel it's best to stay realistic.
i forgot to brush my teeth before I went over so i went to the bathroom and started eating his toothpaste. we're still in the early stages of fuckdom
If you're mature enough to fuck him you're mature enough to tell him you don't want a relationship come on
You think he will forgive me for the paper being a week late if I bring him a beer?
...it's a 9am class...
i cant hook up i'm covered in egg rolls
Whatever he got a sick blow job and his high school fantasy was fulfilled
And that's what dreams are made of
*hilary duff crying in the background*
That time of your life is like a blur to me. There was churches, car fucking, and conservatives
He went down on me for like 30 min and honestly half the time I thought about those videos where people can smash watermelons with their legs and I just wanted to do that to his skull
Randomize
