his dad told me thanks for making his little boy a man at breakfast this morning
This got awkward about two "Oh yeah"s ago.
I just used my 7th grade year book to figure out who I hooked up with last night. Being home is magical.
once my pubes got caught on her snaggletooth it was all downhill from there
since we're both too lazy to go to each others house, you drink there, i'll drink here and we'll skype. it's the same thing.
you looked up at me mid puke with tears in your eyes and asked to make sure no one took your turn at Wii
Pretty certain he passed out for a while going down on me. Absolutely certain he passed out during the blow job.
Tequila shots with cinnamon and orange write it down before I forget
Apparently you get kicked out of gay bars if they catch you putting the entire free condom bowl in your purse.
After everything you did, you followed it with "Oh God, that's something a high person would do. But I'm not high." So yeah, you're not getting near my stash again.
True love: he brought me a margarita while was in the shower. He's a keeper.
I didn't even get crazy off of the coke so everything's fine. Also, I think I might have killed my aunt's dog..
the D I S R E S P E C T of sending someone nudes, them opening it, and not bothering to respond
aloe plants are like gummy bears with an exoskeleton, but with healing powers instead of deliciousness.
are you on the drugs???
Dont care about too tired for sex, thank you for leaving your laser pointer. I have now determined both my cats are stupid.
Randomize
