Moved my bed either I'm a whore or every guy I have ever slept with hid condom wrappers under my bed
Instead of a promise ring i got my clit peirced, its a promise that ill always give you ass! =]
you will always have a special place in my vag
I'm pretty sure he told me he was sterile and I told him I was on the pill. The positive pregnancy test I'm holding in my hand right now tells me that at least one of us was lying.
We've reached the point in our fuck buddy relationship where we are playing words with friends. This is too intimate.
I think i just threw up blood. i can't chill right now;
He showed up in booty shorts and no shirt and said dont laugh dont ask questions and give me a fucking final and no one in class said anything we just sat there speehless
Definitely worth waiting her kid to got to sleep when the first thing you hear once she's back is "I want you in my ass right now"
Why am I getting texts saying are you ready for this butthole? Help
She curled up in the corner, screamed "THE BLANKET IS SO WARM" and promptly passed out with her face in the dogbed. No one bothered to reposition her.
If the ex isent in town and im crying under a table somewhere because of it can we go to a drag show or something
It's rum buckets o'clock
Desperate times call for desperate measures. But he promised me no small talk so that was nice
Hey, I found that piece of pizza you lost in my bed last night. Never again...
Waxing your own asshole is awkward and difficult at best.
Randomize
