chicago's viagra triangle is not unlike the bermuda triangle in thatt things just get lost...... planes, ships, dignity, virginity, etc.
she must of just birthed a child cause her labia touched the floor
hapi new year, hope this year brings u happiness and lots of sexi people ;)
stop writing like that.
They were going around the house breaking things and screaming "Not my house!"
Just pulled back my covers. Jizz. Jizz everywhere. Hipster jizz everywhere on my only set of sheets.
I hope your pay increase has gone through because I might need bail. This is not what I dreamed adulthood would be like.
Did i tell you my idea for my life plan? Not the one that involves stripping.
I walked around with red solo cups on my feet, weeds tied around my neck and a tree in my hand
I just sent Brandon a snapchat where I wasn't wearing a shirt but had a rooster drawn on my boobs that said "cock block" and laughed for 10 minutes I have problems don't judge me
someone stole all your weed so you told us you were planning each of our deaths
We did it in the bar bathroom and the bathroom attendant sold us a condom. I love Nashville
It is such a beautiful day to not be arrested
look, im sorry that i yelled at your little brother, threw my car keys at him and smashed a stale cookie with a pool cue, but i swear to god i didn't poop on the floor. it was one of your dogs.
You're up at 3AM, right? I have a very important question.
You know the Wendy's on route 6, by Kohls? Do you know if it has a drive through?
Yes it does.
You know how fear has a smell? Well turns out shame has a smell too. It's Pina colada flavored anal grease.
Randomize
