The guy asked if i had a problem w/set schedules
I'm babysitting and we're watching Barney and I don't understand why Barney can magically make band hats appear but he makes them make shitty ass instruments.
Barney's a jerk
Did you write "I hope this gives you aids" on my box of capn crunch?
I feel the need to point out that one of the items on my to-do list for the day is "don't throw up" I have no concept of normal
we made it to hole 3 and then just sat down on the fairway and finished off our case....cheered on other golfers as we let them play through.
It was a legit night tell he threw a snowball in the bar, thats when I knew it was time to go to the next bar.
I was masturbating in my bed this morning when my ipod alarm went off and it started playing "show me the meaning of being lonely"
Just woke up with an eye that wont open, a half eaten piece of pizza on my chest and a raging boner.
This is actually a pretty big deal for him. I mean, he contacted a stranger out of concern for someone else instead of for sex.
That does show growth.
As soon as he came we went to Dairy Queen. That drive through lady was very condescending about our "just fucked" ice cream.
tried to make it look like I had been conscious/awake and out all day when I stumbled into cvs at 6pm to buy plan B
update: I failed
I'll meet you in hell with unlimited boxes of wine though
drinking vodka out of a wine glass to feel a little bit classier about myself.
Your heart isn't making stupid decisions... your penis is outsmarting your brain. Stop fucking her!
Our faces when the strip club was closed looked like the grinch just stole Christmas ☹️
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