Thats not how I planned it, its just the way she passed out
by the end of the night i am guaranteed to have less of a face than Seal....
he is training for a marathon but can't last more than five minutes on top. worst tuesday night ever
Nhdgh I love you very much hello becausevs. Vagina pensiono
Was I really yelling "girls night" at random chicks before stealing and drinking all their shots?
Bad news? she threw her drink in his face, left her phone at the club, and disappeared. I found her laying in bed with the bottle she stole from our VIP service. Good news is she's asleep and I have the bottle, come home
Immediately after I scarfed down an Applebee's appetizer trio for lunch, my boss sent me on an hour long road trip to pick up some parts. Great. I can't wait to shit my pants on US-31 South.
Also there's a home game tomorrow and I thought about holding up a sign that says, "I madeout with #64 during orientation week" would that be inappropriate??
I need an inhaler full of pot for all of this breathless rage.
Drunk packed a lunch. Made two turkey sandwiches and threw in a bag of raw bacon. Gold star for the day drunk self.
Every time you mention the threesome around him I will high five you. Do what you will with this information.
I feel like I don't show you my boobs enough. And you deserve to see them like all the time
I just got offered free tattoos if I smuggle some guns from OKC to Dallas for a guy in the hells angels
Block me from your phone tonight…I need to get laid tonight. But you've been being a douchebag. So not by you. But I might call you. So block me.
WHY WOULD I COCK BLOCK MYSELF???
She dropped the call after she told me she doesn't want to hear about how loud he can scream.
Randomize
