The walk of shame is so much worse when you've spent the night third wheeling.
Glitter + Penis = Best. Idea. Ever.
she might purposely get aids just to give it to you. I think she might hate you that much.
You came back with four clearly unattractive women and wanted to throw a dance party in my room.
If I won't even leave the house for sex tonight. I definetly not going out for anything else.
I feel like a blind man at a water park. Every step has the potential to be either fatal or lead to accidental, but totally enjoyable, sex.
She's crying about either her ex boyfriend, her one night stand, or her own puke. None of those is worth the tears.
I just wanted to be nice to your dick and you are rhyming at me.
We're doing a team debriefing of Saturday night in group text right now. As 75% of the female presence at that party we saw some shit.
After my second liter of German beer, nothing D-cup or larger is safe near me.
Damn you are the highwater mark of the naked women in my life. Like idk what lined up but yeah.
he yelled at me like a drill sergeant while I quickly tried to take off my pants
I will pepper spray him so fast I don't even care
hes sooooo boring!!! I feel like I’m in a relationship with myself now. I have an 8 inch dildo under my bed, THATS how much I’m in a relationship with myself.
I ate her out and told her she tasted like pumpkin pie. She screamed that she hated pumpkins and started to cry
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