Ha. No worries! So loud here &god I love drag queens! How does it happen, the congealing?
just tell him i said nine months
Puking blue powerade in mcdonalds parking lot to the applause of the guy taking out the trash with man in the mirror blasting in the background. Good morning stl
And that's when he stuck his finger up his own ass to prove it would feel good...
So somehow I got from NYC to a suburban town in the middle of Jersey. At 4am. Thank god there are trains that can rectify my mistakes...
so if i die before i go back to school its because the thing we found in the hallway that i've been smoking out of is a crack pipe
We met at my place after separate parties but the condom wrapper was red with hearts and said love. Does that count as a romantic date?
I guess at this point I should stop judging guys on their looks and more on their major and trust fund. Growing up sucks.
My ex came to my place while I was gone. Random things he took: snow shoes, my laundry quarters, a decorative picture, all my condiments, the container that held my rice and a sticker off my wallet. Then left a note saying he watered my plants and fed my cats. What. The. Fuck.
Parents said they were cutting off my AmEx card. So I immediately went up to the liquor store and purchased $550 of booze before it was canceled. I'm expecting your arrival in 30 minutes.
You gave me your shirt to use as a napkin every time I spilled beer on myself. Before we went to the bar.
IT ISN'T. I'M A LITTLE HIGH.
YOU'RE ALWAYS A LITTLE HIGH.
NO. IT'S RARE THAT I'M A LITTLE HIGH. I'M ALWAYS HIGH AS FUCK. THERE'S A DIFFERENCE.
Easter was a success. We had an egg hunt and hid weed and conforms inside them. Cooked a ham, made some jello, got wasted. THIS is adulthood?!
I'm soaking her vibrators in tabasco and wasabi paste. "furious" is an understatement
The smell of pee and coconut conditioner still makes me think of him
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