I wish I could still say I don't know that you taste like bad ice cream.
My grandpa just complimented my boobs. Im taking this as a compliment but also brushing it off as alcoholism on his part.
you made them have somersault races with you thru the lobby..
it got awkward when the only couple not hooking up was just watching..
omg i met someone at the bar who sells hair feathers. that are long. saved in my phone as "haiirs deather"
We stopped midfuck cuz a guy was walking his dog. Who the fuck walks their dog in the dorm parking structure at 3am!?
How the hell do you leave a party with a kitten? It's missing and everyone knows it was you.
Idk. The last coherent text said something about $25 & dimes. And then...it's just letters...
That's where the buck stops? Buying girlfriends online? THAT is where you draw the line?!
I just power puked in the office bathroom.. blew blood vessels in my eyes and now I'm ready for a donut.... success
Plus he stuck it in when you were sleeping which would have been the tipping point for me but you art school kids are all liberal and shit
Some how my underwear was hanging from the antlers of a antelope head on the wall of the hotel........
I've slapped too many boys and done too many naked laps for it only to be 10:30pm
Yeah totally passed out in their trash can last night.
God yes pancakes and booze sounds like the best night ever.
Randomize
