She's perfect. Funny, gorgeous, 3 tats, been through a lot, bright. I'm in love.
i'm so hungover...i might vomit in a handbag instead of selling them
Nothing gets me like the O.C. theme song does.
I'm worried someone is gonna take a black light to my work computer. But the connection is faster here.
She made out with me for a free sandwich. What makes you think she is NOT up to my standards?
Well on a positive note, crystal light now comes in margarita flavor
Its okay, i dont mind you drinking, im just surrounded by it, there is some random dude laying on your couch with a bucket that ive never seen before
He left npr on the whole time when we were doing it. ironic that i lost it on the 100th anniversary of the titanic. thanks michelle norris.
I think the 8 yr old is hitting on me and they just prayed for the salvation of third world countries
Leave it to me to sleep w a guy who gets poison ivy on his dick
How'd your Tinder date go?
Well, I met his girlfriend...
Oh, and let me go get some popcorn, watching you make your own decisions should be quite the shitshow.
Do not take the D yet, he needs to be worth it. Your Vagina is GOLD.
I guess you never know how much of an impact you have on someone until you sleep with their cousin
Also, in case they didn’t tell you… there is a chicken living in your old room… so I would assume cleaning that is now on them
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