I'm single ladies-ing it in my kitchen alone. after I just made an intense new breakup cd and before I drown my sorrows by marinating alone in my jacuzzi later. I cant tell if this is a new low or a new high
I'm just looking at Lindsay Lohan's vagina.
Oh yea! I was just doing that too!
I had fun last night. We should have sex less often.
Threw a lawn chair at the neighboors dog. I think I killed him. Come here and assess this
My biggest accomplishment thus far this summer is having sex 5 weeks after hip surgery.
I made it with a guy dressed as Mitt Romney. I told him "you can't have my vote, but you can have my body"
Preparing for the bar exam has made my whatever disorder you said I have act up again
You were so high that you only FaceTimed me so that you could stare into your own eyes and not actually say anything
I feel like a drive thru vagina
I feel like you can't break up with someone on 420. It's against stoner code
CUTE BOY IN THE OFFICE WALKED BY AS I WAS STARING IN HORROR AT HARRY POTTER THEMED SKELETON PORN
Oh, I also stabbed a guy Friday and he still asked me out
I responded with revoking his blow job privileges. Needless to say, he's learned his lesson.
idk what happened last night but i just wokeup with nothing on but a necklace...what is this, the fucking titanic?
I haven’t taken my socks off in over 36 hours. I should add that to my bumble profile.
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