I know...I feel like disliking her as a person on facebook
Just took career test that listed librarian and bartender as top career choices. Fascinating.
Awww. A guy on the train just took his coat off so his girlfriend could throw up into it. Who says chivalry is dead?
I told him he was my first gentile. He was so flattered.
who said I'd never amount to anything...i just won 'most enthusiastic' at my poledancing class
They both invited me to family dinner Sunday. Secretly dating two sisters just got real.
Ice skating? Did you see me last night? I don't even know where my socks are
The guy next to me in the library just got a call from his roommate asking him to come bail him out of jail...we need to step up our game.
Tell me I'm the only person you know who could punch someone at the bar, get escorted out, smoke a cig with the cop who almost arrested me AND get the security guy who escorted me out to buy me drinks.
Boobs are out for the taking
He just asked me to be his girlfriend while having sex on his parents kitchen counter
we just smoked for like ten hours and got froyo. not a bad start to the weekend.
SOME DUDE PUT OUT FOR A MCCHICKEN AND YET YOU STILL WON'T FUCK ME
you put your dick on my shoulder this morning like it was a fucking parrot
I know right? It's like he knows how to pleasure me better than I do myself... He's like a prophet of sex
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