I just got asked by a man in the alley if i would like to buy 50 dollars of meat for 20 bucks. Its been a weird day.
hey everyone... booty call? my house tonight. bring friends to fuck my friends.
Theres two guys using a blow up doll to hold their beers while they float around the pool
Im on my way, tell them to get ready for a high-five
Ok, but If I make this happen, my first born son gets to fuck your first born daughter
THAT DOESN'T MEAN YOU SHOULD LET ME CHUG VODKA.
Also, I imagined that his bacne was bubblewrap and that made it much more tolerable
One day, tell me please to stop buying shots when I'm overwhelmed. I might have just broken a tooth
also I woke up naked and covered in water but nobody can explain that part.
The bartender has no bra and is giving out free shots. Call mom I'm getting married.
You need to finger her with the Spock hand sign since she loves Star Trek.
I don't like pregnant me. I eat very large burritos, I don't like having sex and I can't even finish a Blue Moon.
My joke about liking my coffee like I like my men IS ABOUT TO COME TRUE.
Let's just say if my bucket list had "fngered in the middle of a club by a complete stranger while being sprayed by UV paint" then that is well and truly ticked off.
we decided to take the jello everclear shot at the party...didnt think it tasted any different....o dear god...the regret..
It was weird, it was like my heart got a boner. Is this being an adult?
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