Grinding on my ninth grade teacher. Dreams really do come true
She threw up all over when she was giving me dome. Not even gonna lie, it felt really good.
u were so high that u chewed on candle wax for an hour
All he said was "Yeah, there's a lot of air down there. And penis."
I just hotboxed my laundry basket.
Let's have a moment of silence for the guinea pig that drunk chick threw out our window.
I walked in and she was kneeling on the ground with no pants on, throwing up, and holding the puppy. It was one of those moments, where i was like damn i wish i had my camera.
Mystery lines found in a Pyrex dish in the back of my pantry at 415 am. No recall as to it's origin. Unidentifiable taste. Obviously I'm doing them
I miss the days of selfishly blowing a load in the condom without her knowing and acting all like "we shouldn't do this" so she would get dressed and leave.
Last thing I remember is beer bonging sangria. Dear God.
So that wine I told you about is vile...
That the stuff you brewed in your dorm closet? Are you actually going to drink it?
Yup. It's drinkable. Might go blind, but I've got to use my chemistry minor for something.
Her vagina was like a painting you can put your face in.
Dude, we tried to feed you but you just started sobbing and ran away
the straight edge chick smoked with me, because according to her my bowl is pretty
Sooooooooooooo you woke up on a rooftop. Classy
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