Well I thought that next 8 ball would either kill us or turn us into Gods
I woke up this morning and thought "Im sure I've seen this house in a porno" and instantly googlemapped myself
I just woke up to crumpled tissues everywhere. Looks like it was another night filled with tears and semen.
Im telling you now. Hang out with winning football players and you get whatever the hell you want. Sorry to wake you. But its important knowledge.
i just watched kanye west and taylor swift have a chugging contest. why cant halloween be every day
you came home covered in oatmeal wearing a tutu holding a stolen wrotting pumpkin and "its a girl" balloons tied around your neck.you were whispering the lyrics to aaron carters 'aarons party'. i think the real question was what DIDNT you drink last night
I blacked out after the shots of canned lobster bisque.
And I'm also limping. I just wish that I had self control. I'm 23 for fuck sake and I'm sitting at work, with mascara down my face, vomit on my clothes and an unknown black substance on my tits. How will I ever find my Greek husband if I keep this up?
Just call Katie. She's like the drunk whisperer; she can get them to do anything.
You went down on Rachel in front me last night. Worst. Brother. Ever.
I was just asked if I wanted to struggle snuggle. She's a keeper
also my alarm just went off. I am always amused at what time drunk me decides to wake up.
Getting high with your mom, but thinking of you!
I woke up with my winter coat on, next to a polaroid of me, her and a swan...so no I don't remember our conversation.
Pillow talk was a high five, this morning she made dinosaur muffins for the house. I love chapel hill
Randomize
