She just said she finds Tyler Perry funny... this is not going to work.
I woke up this morning and saw that I had transferred $0.75 from my savings account to my checking account.
i went through the entire semester and only just now realized there's a girl in my history class that i've hooked up with.
you know it's bad when you need sunglasses to open the refrigerator
you threatened to puke on the table cause they didnt serve eggs Benedict
Just because he saw my boobs doesn't mean he knows me all of a sudden
My apartment smells like a lavender field inside of a giant bong.
We turned a watering can into a margarita bong.
i went out at 5pm and cant remember anything until 3am...i was at the bus stop parking lot running around doing the Arrested Development chicken calls.
This is the beginning of the end. Testicle Tuesdays and free ball Friday are going to scar people for life
Dude that picute of your balls will haunt my nightmares
look for me at the Giants game I will possibly be the drunk girl passed out by 2nd
it's like he didn't even know what a vagina was
Pinterest knows I’m getting divorced
Woke up to find that I was cock blocked by no more than three people.
What's your fascination with fucking to the Lion King Soundtrack?
Randomize
