he put his p in my v, then his p in my a, and then tried to put the p in my m? first, double dipping is rude. second, i'm glad he finished shortly after that, i'm afraid of where he'd try to stick it next. my ear?
i spent my evening searching "the sims having sex" on youtube
we're no longer friends
i woke up with toilet paper straight tucked up in my underwear wearing a pizza sauce mustach. I dont think i got laid last night.
I'm drinking keystone with a homeless man I found. It's making me feel uncomfortable.
I'm sorry. Both for you two breaking up and because I just ate some of your cheez it's.
No it was after you showed us his fraternaty letters shaven out of your pubes
hotdog in my bra and i still managed to score. Got a bit freaked when he tried to eat it though. I paid 3 bucks for that fucking hotdog.
The best part about living in a college town is the annual rush of senior girls who want to get in their lesbian experiment before they graduate.
I think she finds the idea of a naked fat man lying on the table and holding our butter offensive
Well I mean he is in a slightly seductive pose
I fell in the river last night. The allegheny to be exact. Omg getting drunk at work gatherings is dangerous
My liver needs the occasional pep talk and a reminder that we are two weeks into freshman year of college.
She used my 100 Ways To Cope With Stress handout to wipe puke off her face
I just talked comic books with a cop. We high-fived as he was running my name.
Proud of you.
We discussed the legality of being a vigilante. I won.
I asked you why you bought a sword and you then replied with the greek alphabet and then tried to assure me that samurais are apart of greek life.
You kept shouting about how you were the king of all bitches...and doors, for some reason.
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