I want to buy you liquor! I want to kiss your face.
he pushed my hair back because he said it made me look like kelly kapowski and he told me to call him zach
what am i going to do when LOST is over? What am i going to get high to?
Tell her to buy some booze and drink away her sorrows like an adult.
I got really upset at the McDonald's worker. They should serve nuggets 24/7. Apparently 5am is breakfast for some people.
We have so much sex to catch up on
Don't ever feel guilty about what you put in your mouth best advice my gma ever gave me lmao
You were all "think outside the box, inside the bag!" as you filled your camelback with beer.
Is the mullet a good, great, or horrible idea before we leave for college
Is 36 too old to fuck a college student? THIS IS BOTH IMPORTANT AND TIME SENSITIVE
How long until you're healed?
Physically? A week or so. Emotionally? The scars of dislocating my knee at a frat and flashing my panties to the whole crowd wi never heal.
Adderal can only make me focus so much. Your ass is stronger than my medicine. Congratulations.
Her new crush is a 6'2" guacamole baron that may also be a Jedi.
Hey know anyone who wants 58 lbs of whole frozen chickens for a couple bowls?
Went to waffle house after dropping my sister off at school and got into a heated argument with a drunk/hungover philosophy professor I will not name. I won the argument.
Randomize
