Have you finally orgasmed yet?
My vag wants to play a game of hungry hungry hippos with your cock.
All I want in this world right now are Doritoessssss
OK. You going to get home safe? Who are you with?
Doritoesssssss
Somehow I don't trust you in this state to talk to you about a colonoscopy
Food Network. Taking bong rips everytime we want to eat. BOBBY FLAY.
You walked in, sat down, looked at the waiter and said, "I'm only having deserts and liquor."
You did this to me with your delicious pizza and moonshine.
I'll forgive you once we're drunk again by noon.
Tommarow we shall sacrifice the freshmen to the sun god
Come over so we can have two person sex in this one person tent
Just so you know the unusual amount of skittles on your floor is entirely your own fault. You bought me 20 bags of them while I was high.
Her tutu was on the floor and she wouldn't take off her crown. She kept saying you're fucking a princess!
we could do so many fantastic illegal things together. sexually and otherwise.
Finally hooked up with her. She bought me tacos after because "she can do better in a bed". You're gonna be my best man.
She fucked the dishwasher AND the manager.
Well, she isn't a classist. You've got to give her that.
I didn't realize how hungover I was until I fell asleep in my math lecture, and woke up I'm my history class. How is got there still remains a mystery...
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