I just saw a stripper wear a tube top around her floppy gut. God bless Michigan.
My bra smells like weed because there's weed in my bra
I'm outside your house...sorry I feel like I don't need formal invites anymore.
I've drank myself into a smaller pants size. Who ever said alcoholism was unhealthy was mistaken.
Where the hell is he. I called him crying for weed and sex you would think that would signal some urgency.
What happened to the good old days when we whispered the words beer pong and people came running?
Hot freshmen.....hot freshmen chicks everywhere
You say this every welcome week, bro.
i officially have over $300 in my bank account. that's a year's worth of chipotle.
Yeah even if I got stabbed it would be worth it
Also, my aunt grabbed my phone and downloaded the scriptures. Apparently I need Jesus.
I ran into cvs barefoot with my belt undone and shirt buttoned wrong and didn't even have to ask. The guy working pointed and said "they're back there."
That's how I look going for the pbr.
His whole street is under construction. Third walk of shame this week & I'm getting a lot of sympathetic nods from the workers.
I know this is a weird question but we both had pants on when my mom woke us up last night right?
I feel like it should at least be like a "hey look I'm actually fine that I drunkenly gave you my virginity!" friend request.
Cheyanne in woods. Ducks attacked. My toe is bleeding. We are gpsing our way home on foot. No worries
Randomize
