i was so high last night while i was driving i felt like i was riding a bike with no pedals
I think they should rename 16 and pregnant to "I was fucked in highschool and all I got was a baby and humiliated infront of the nation on MTV"
His mom just asked me if I was "fooling around with her baby again" and then when I walked downstairs his dad YELLED "Look who's taking the walk of shame!"
You really need to stop fucking dudes who still live with their parents.
woke up to find a pram in the balcony. first thing we did was look over the edge!
Today was my first day of hebrew and I learned how to say give me sex... I think I can quit now
I hope this doesn't change things. I feel that me being a minor made it more exciting.
Drunk tip #47: Its better to overestimate how many plastic bottles itll take to urinate in, rather then underestimate.
Careful when you walk in I'm laying by the door.
Every time I get scared about the fact that I'm falling for him I remember that he juggles and is hung like a mastadon and everything is a-ok.
Tried to ride the mechanical bull pants less, got punched for making out with some lesbians wife, and you tipped the bartender with a can of skoal.
I regret nothing
Moment of the day: as we leave the restaurant, she reaches into my pocket, pulls out her panties, and angrily marches to her car. I felt like a sketchy magician.
There's holes in the drywall and the beer pong table is a broken door on two barstools. You know they like to party.
You did things that should be illegal to a Twinkie and asked strangers to drive you home.
Masturbated furiously for a half hour; ate a fistful of chocolate, then took a nap. Woke up and finished wrapping presents. I've got this holiday thing down.
oh dont worry mom i am not sick my cough is from a recent increase in recreational drug use
that will happen
Randomize
