First rule of pills: If you can't remember what it is, take half.
sometimes i wish i had a whole other life to spend on youtube
whats wrong with me. i have a coffee mug of wine in the library and i'm doing homework
As gay men are we obligated to learn the Single Ladies dance.
Just saw a guy at the gas station legitimately dressed in exactly what my costume was last night. Fuck his life.
I used the word aforementioned in my paper. That's an automatic A in community college.
He def has a gf... But hes 7 feet tall and that superceeds any morality I may have.
I know more about this girls vagina than I know about her personality
Due to last night I think a roommate constitution should be made. The first law will be designed to prevent any chicks below a 4 to enter the house.
I'm naked, I'm drunk, and I'm all up on social media right now
of course we called 911. an innocent mans booze was at steak
Halloween is the end of the singles holidays they don't start again until st. Patrick's day we better get wifed up or it's going to be a long winter lol
Oh my fucking god that cat looks just like you after you accidentally took Ketamine
Sad realization: so long as I use this sleep apnea machine, I will never be the little spoon!
My throat is burning
Thats because you proceeded to drink the salsa because you thought it was alcohol...dumbass
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