Never fear I pulled out... she had "lies about taking birth control" written all over her
there were more penises there than on chat roulette
I wish his dick was as long as his hair.
We left the house and she said "let's go dick hunting" theres no way last night was gonna end up well
Yeah someone just put a trash bag that says "use protection" on the snow penis
Screw disneyland. This military base is the happiest place on earth. Even unnatractive dudes are completely fuckable in those uniforms, im never leaving
She's riding a bike down the street and drinking brown liquor. A pt cruiser is honking at her and she's like I HEAR YOU!!
He paid the bartender with money from the tip jar then proceeded to hit on me in front of my date. I love frat dances
He put my hand on his penis and said welcome home.
PS my house is a mess.
pps I have a rash on my face.
I was gonna drive but when i tried to use telekinesis to get my keys, I knew I shouldn't be driving
she came into my car to rip lines with our blow dealer as I was writing my essay on anti drug policy, i call it on site research
His baby mama found the pictures of us, she couldn't see my face but she could see my asshole. So I'm safe.
I got the shit slapped outta me last night but the pain in my jaw doesn’t even compare to the hangover I have.
You abruptly started screaming because they had and I quote “calamari on the hoof”
Randomize
