it seems that i get a boner from just about everything now
you kept trying to convince me i had aids because my head hurt
She literally thanked me for asking before I put in her ass
I keep getting texted pictures of my husband with other men. I can't figure out if he wants a divorce or a threesome?
I wish I could just thrust my cock straight into her new relationship.
I have to have sex with him again. I feel like I need to train him so no other girl experiences that bad of sex.
I pretty much just threw a bunch of clothes and my vodka in a bag..idk where I'm gonna end up tonight but I'm prepared.
I'm pretty sure that if I didn't have a gerbil with a shotgun in my uterus I would think i was knocked up cuz all I want is hot sauce
I got drunken sympathy for the whales' plight last night and signed up to give $50 monthly to Greenpeace. Calling to cancel was worse than the hangover.
Hear that? That's the wail of a dying whale. Murderer.
Thank you, I really appreciate that. I know I couldn't participate in class tonight and I hope that doesn't affect my grade too much. So please let me know of any extra credit opportunities such as fellatio
my mom called me mid shot and i accidentally answered and kept calling her my own name. somehow i thought that would help the situation.
Just got to Evans to buy weed. His mom showed up unannounced. Now the three of us are chillen. Super.
Condoms and Ice Cream, that's all we need.
all his sexual metaphors involve condiments, should I worry?
i'm 99% sure they had an orgy while i was passed out
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