What do you say about some mid-afternoon anal?
Dude if I didn't piss myself last night I dont think I would have woke up in time for work.
A 21st bday and NYE should be illegal to have in the same week...
I don't get why Lindsay Lohan doesn't just blame her bad behavior on her twin sister from the Parent Trap. I mean nobodys seen her since.
I don't think anyone has ever said "boy I'm glad I took those shots of everclear" when they wake up
Just learned how to deliver a baby.the things i saw tonight can never be unseen
He doesn't like you, he likes u not having a gag relfex
I legitimately sent him a storybook of naked pictures.
She stopped mid hookup to ask me if we'd be done before Taco Bell closed.
We thought we were getting kicked out but then he started tickling the bouncer. Next thing you know the bouncers giving him a piggy back ride to the bar.
I don't drink so I see St. Patty's as an LSD type of day. Its like a more hardcore 420
Remember that girl that we found passed out in the dorm study room under a pile of money and jimmy johns wrappers? She's standing right on front of me.
Just told my boss I wasn't coming in to work because of a serious case of blue balls. Totally made having them worth it.
There's Dick Pix, Zorro, and The Little Engine that Could. I nickname my fuck buddies for the exact same reason why you don't name animals which you will one day have for dinner.
I'm fairly sure I accidentally saw my dad naked last night
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