This random guy asked me if I had downs. I was like up yours! And I got out of his car.
She rubs her butt on the bed & then she growls..
So then I sent a pic msg of the Magnum XL box to her friend
I just went to a subway where the girl didn't know how to make a blt. I will not miss public school texans.
We tried to line dance with everyone but it turned into drunken stumbling and attempting to grind on random frat boys. I feel that this might turn into an every Thursday thing.
Oh my god. My pre-date bowl for nerves tuned into "I'm too high for this date" he kept talking about trucks and I couldn't stop making racial slurs.
there's a picture of you and pauly shore at a starbucks on my phone
well, the drug dealer I've been fucking the past 5 months gave me a chilis gift card for Christmas, so things are looking up.
my mom found me passed out in the kitchen floor with the Brita pitcher.. Happy Mothers Day
Oh boy. Send him a care package with laxative cookies and alcohol. So he can shit himself while he's passed out drunk.
You are like the only girl I know who tells their booty call to go find another girl just cause you want more sleep.
In all honesty the person most likely to secretly slip me drugs would be ... Me
i don't know how to react to you in a diaper crying and calling a football 'sadie'.
Can't beat it when the local bar sends you off with a loaf of bread on the way out the door.
Hangover and judgement, the breakfast of champions.
Randomize
