dude i just saw the hottest 13 year old but she was kinda ghetto.
Just woke up and stopped at the WaWa in Virginia. Had major morning wood and didn't try to hide it when walking around. So many awkward stares.
SOME GIRL ON THE STAIRS IN FRONT OF ME JUST FARTED AND IT WENT STRAIGHT INTO MY MOUTH!
She started crying while we were cooking shrimp because 'Under the Sea" came on Pandora
You tried to pay the bartender in graduation checks, I think you'll be fine in the real world.
Talk me down man. Writing a paper drunk and about to buy Celine Dion's greatest hits.
Dude it was a mini horse. It obviously only eats mini things.
Just call Katie. She's like the drunk whisperer; she can get them to do anything.
I'm currently looking on facebook to see how slutty the girls from my kindergarden class are now. I have a problem.
Literally just had a girl put her street name into my phone. Yeah.
everything in the house taste like gin even the water, friday nite was a success
Yeah, first date. First take a pic of him to circulate around for your friends and than have him fill out a short penis questionnaire. Seems completely legit to me.
Man, you got so high you own goaled yourself in FIFA then got up celebrating.
Why the fuck are you playing with legos?
Why the fuck are you questioning me?
Remind me to never do anything where hiding something in my butt is the best course of action
Randomize
