is this the only place in the world where you can get shot on one side of town, and have to stop for cows crossing the street on the other side?
What wine goes with Cap'n Crunch?
I just five second ruled a donut I dropped at starbucks, everyones staring
The Rock is playing the tooth fairy. I can't believe I used to smell what that man was cooking
I've made out with men from every corner of the globe. Sex-wise, I've almost conquered europe. Take that napoleon
I hope this adventure ends at a hospital
And for the fourth year in a row Christmas has ended in tears, yelling and me drinking. This is officially our longest running Christmas tradition.
We are going to be Siegfried and Roy for Halloween and you are going to be the tiger.
i'm gonna fuck his crew, i'm gonna wax my asshole. i'm gonna make them all cry tears of sex joy then move to colorado.
Secondly, that waffle is lost for good. I have no fucking idea where that bitch is
Is it possible to sluttify a hobbit costume? Cause if so, this will be my biggest accomplishment.
I almost forgot to feel shameful, if that answers your question.
Pretty sure I got pink eye from the strip club. There is also still beer cans rattling around in my shower.
i really love you but i feel kinda dumb about it
I don’t know what language he speaks but I know my boobs will translate just fine
I’m looking forward to few days of international relations
Randomize
